Why I Need to Stay
by Quatre Winner
Summary: Takao tries to tell Kai why he needs to stay. Sequel, mentions of attempted suicide, shounenai, KaiTaka.


This is a (hopefully) one-shot sequel to "Why I Need to Go Away", written so many ages ago. It started gnawing on my brain again, so I'm humoring it. Yay.

I don't own Beyblade. If I did, Kai and Takao would be naked more often.

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Why I Need to Stay

* * *

There are some people who would say that I'm not very observant at all. And, granted, most of the time those people are right. But what they don't know is that, when it comes to the things I care about, I'm just as observant as everyone else.

I care about one Kai Hiwatari. Before, I thought he was just a good friend, but after what happened today, I'm not so sure. He kissed me, on that roof... Then I kissed him back. And I'm still confused.

I look over at Kai. He's sitting to my left in the cab I called after we left the hospital, still sound asleep. His shoulder had been dislocated before, but now it was fine, although the doctor had insisted that he wear a sling for at least a week to make sure the joint was properly repositioned. I'd said that I'd take care of it when Kai woke up, so the sling was stuffed into my pocket.

Kai looks so peaceful when he's asleep. He doesn't have to glare when he's lost in the land of dreams. I reach over and brush a few strands of hair away from his face, watching his reaction closely. He shifts in his seat a bit and sighs, making me smile.

At the same time I'm confused. I think back to what had happened before, when Kai tried to kill himself. He said that he wanted me to be happy, and that he felt that I'd be happier without him. So why would he try to kill himself? Wouldn't just moving away do the same thing?

Unless…

My train of thought derails when the cab stops in front of the hotel. I pay the driver and ease Kai out of the car, just barely supporting him. He's taller than I am, and he has more muscles than I do, so it's a wonder I got him into the cab at all. I don't want to wake Kai up, but at the same time I don't think I can get Kai up to the third floor on my own.

"Takao!" I hear someone call behind me, and I turn slightly to see Rei jogging towards us. He's concerned, I can tell that much from his expression, and I find myself wondering if I should tell them about what Kai had tried to do. I quickly decide against it.

"Hi Rei," I say, smiling at him. "Kai and I were practicing, but he went a bit overboard. Can you help me get him upstairs?"

Rei nods and grabs Kai around his waist. I'm on Kai's injured side, so I don't need to worry about Kai getting hurt even more.

A strange emotion spikes through me at the sight of Rei's arm around Kai's waist, but I squash it and try to focus on getting Kai upstairs. Rei doesn't ask anymore questions, and we make it up to Kai's room safely. Last time I checked, Max was working with Kyouju in Max's room, so I don't think they'll bother us for a while.

At least, I hope so.

Rei helps me get Kai settled into bed and leaves, but I think he knows that what happened what more than a training accident. Rei can see through most lies in no time, but he knows when to leave things alone. Not like me.

But I guess it's a good thing I'm stubborn. If I weren't…

Kai stirs, and I sit on the bed next to him. He mumbles a bit under his breath before opening his eyes.

"Takao?" he whispers. "Where are we?"

"Back at the hotel," I answer. "The doctor gave you a prescription for a painkiller, but I haven't gotten it filled yet. Do you remember getting the painkiller she jabbed you with? That's why you shouldn't be feeling any pain right now."

Kai nods but doesn't say anything else. The way he stares at me makes me nervous, and I can't help but fidget.

"Kai, why did you think that killing yourself would make me happier?" I blurted out.

Kai looked away.

"If you think it's because you were raised to be evil by your grandfather, that's not it at all!" I stammer. I keep saying the wrong things and making Kai sad, and that makes me anxious. I don't want Kai to try to kill himself again.

When I saw Kai falling off the roof of the same building we're in now, so many things ran through my mind. I'd acted without thinking, but this time I'm glad I did. If I hadn't, the idea of what could have happened makes me almost want to throw up. I shiver, finally understanding what Kai had been trying to do.

"You hurt everyone around you, Kai, isn't that what you think?" I say softly, wondering at myself. "You don't know how to react with us because you were never taught, and you don't want to say the wrong thing. But why would you want to kill yourself?"

I toy with the blankets as I talk, unable to look Kai in the face. I'm probably saying the wrong things again, and I don't want to see Kai's sad face. It would make me cry, I think.

His hand on mine startles me, and I look up at him. He had sat up while I was looking away, and now he was looking at me with such a sad expression on his face that I want to hug him and tell him that everything is going to be all right.

"Because you're the only thing I'm living for, Takao," he says honestly.

I don't know what I'm feeling right now, it's all so tightly tangled into a heavy stone in my gut. I want to laugh and cry at the same time, and before I know it, I'm clinging to Kai's shirt. I knocked him backwards on accident, and now I'm lying on top of him, while he reaches up to hold me in a one armed hug.

"Don't you ever say that again, Kai," I bite out around the strange lump in my throat. I can't properly say what I want to, and all that comes out are nonsense sentences and odd words, but I think Kai gets the idea. He presses a kiss to my forehead and I stop babbling.

"Let's get some sleep," Kai says. "We've had a long day."

I nod and try to pull away from Kai, but his arm stays around me. I look at him, confused.

"Stay with me," Kai asks me. He leans up to press his lips against mine, and I melt right back into him. My ear ends up pressed against Kai's chest, his heart pounding a calming rhythm. I find myself getting drowsy, barely hearing Kai's whispered words before I slip into the realm of dreams.

"I love you, Takao."


End file.
